We often confuse our emotions with what we think they are as opposed to what they really are. This misinterpretation of our feelings to the opposite will keep us limited as this process most often interprets a wise emotion or intuition as a weak emotion or fear as we try to identify and explain our feelings.
Seeing yourself as weak instead of strong will obviously prevent you from getting stronger and dealing with situations appropriately.
Someone with low self-esteem said that obnoxious crowds intimidate her so she withdraws emotionally. I would say they disgust her and being disgusted with them, her wisdom and intuition makes her not want to be around them. A strength instead of a weakness.
If we look at the past history of people who feel intimidated in certain situations, we will find they have a history of being put down so they are easy to manipulate and use or abuse.
The person who feels intimidated has been taught that they are weak and that loud, pushy, obnoxious, controlling or other overbearing characteristics are strength. ‘You are weak and should fear them.’ And furthermore; ‘you should stay with them so you can get stronger and overcome your fears.’ The point was often to make sure that you are always there and easy to control.
This may have been valid as a child, but now as an adult, there is a fear of those same types of people even though they no longer have the power to control you as when you were a child.
Now, the learnt response is to withdraw emotionally but stay there physically and you have learnt that any withdrawing is because you are intimidated and thus flawed and weak. The reality is that now you are strong and smarter and do not want to be around such fools.
It is not always the best remedy to put ourselves in, or stay in negative environments. Often the best medicine is to leave. To know what the best action is, we must examine what makes us want to stay or leave. Is there another reason you would stay in a negative situation other than the belief it will make you stronger? What else do you have to gain? Being honest about the real motivation instead of lying to yourself that it is for your personal growth will give you the power to master your emotions.
Once you see that you may be staying in a negative situation so that you get something you want, or feel part of a group rather than the alternative of leaving and being alone, the truth of your motivations will help you see the wisdom in leaving. But if you feel you should stay in a bad place because it will make you stronger, give serious consideration if this makes sense. Have you been misled or misinterpreted what you understood?
Sometimes we should endure and sometimes we should leave or change. Every situation is unique, and the ability to see each one individually is the key to emotional freedom and the opening of wisdom.
Arrogance Or Wisdom
I think that a problem for many people is the confusion of their emotions such as strength, and wisdom of knowing what to avoid, with being made to think they are weak and fearful. This is maintained by the wrong idea that seeing yourself as better than others is arrogant and wrong. Another twisted lesson to keep us limited.
For example, if you are sober and another person is drunk, you are better than that person, at least at that moment. There is no arrogance to say that a person who is in control of themselves is superior to another person who is drunk, has no self-control and is being rude or obnoxious to everyone around them. This applies even if the other person is not drunk of course.
Fear Of Money
A friend of mine in his 60’s said he does not want a lot of money. The reason being that everyone he met who has a lot of money is obnoxious and many other negative characteristics. He, like many people, fears having money because he fears becoming a nasty person. Meanwhile, he lives in financial limitations due to his fear.
The only reason to fear, is because you have been taught that you are too weak to master your mind. If you knew you are your own master, then you know you can have great wealth and stay the same.
See The Truth
It is very important to know your real feelings. Then you will know that you are not weak or have a problem, flaw or are a failure. Rather, you have wisdom and are just not using it or understanding what you feel and interpreting it the right way to help you. So far you have been misinterpreting it in a way that it is hurting you.
It is NOT arrogant to know that you are better than others. It is NOT arrogant to know when to leave or what to avoid. The fear of being, or even being seen as arrogant, prevents us from standing up for ourselves using our wisdom and changing our lives and situation.
Do not fear being arrogant, rather, fear being foolish. As a wise old man told me; “God does nothing without having a very good reason. If He gave you a logical mind, it is for good reason, so use it.”
Indeed these words of wisdom are valid, but we have not been given the chance to use our abilities correctly because we live in the world of lies and manipulation. The strong control the weak. In the animal kingdom they do this by eating them, in humanity they do this by emotionally controlling them.
Wisdom is knowing what to do and what to avoid. That is not arrogance, that is simple common sense. You are not weak if you feel intimidated, you have misinterpreted your emotions and are just too sacred to be wiser than everyone else because you fear they will see you as arrogant and then you will not have any friends.
Humans need companionship more than anything else, and the fear of losing that will make us do all sorts of self-destructive and foolish things. Know this and you will become master of your life, and the companions you will have will be worth having.